shared burdens...happy tears

feeling really scattered lately...not sure how to get "reconnected" again.  sometimes when i look in the mirror, i am surprised that my reflection is of a whole person and not someone in fragments.


as stella and i were taking our nightly jaunt, i started thinking about all the people that live on my block...and then all the people that live in my neighborhood...it ended up with me thinking about the billions of people that are in this world that i will never meet...and then, to all the people that make up my life.  it boggles me to think about all the people that i have the honor to call friends and it just blows me away when i think that me...with all my quirks and insecurities and faults and sins and short comings have people that willingly choose to share their life with me and even more amazingly...want me to share my life with them.

i think back to the friend who i hadn't talked to in years that called and asked me to share in one of the most important days of her life, her wedding day...i think of the friend that honored me by asking me to be in the delivery room with her and let me be one of the first ones to hold her new little one...i think of the friend that came in the middle of the night because i needed her to watch tess when i had to take alex to the hospital...no questions asked, just came...i think of the friends that have left their jobs in the middle of the day to help me out with picking up my kids or running an errand for me...i think of the ones who've come to my home to share laughter and memories and those that have invited me to theirs to do the same...i think of my "only" friend that i had out east and how much i miss her...i think of all the friends that have mentored me, prayed with me and stood in the gap for me...i think of those who call up and invite us over for dinner at the last minute...for those that have cried with me and allowed me to do the same...for those that love "my boys"as much as i do and would drive hours away in the middle of the night to see them with me...for those that have held my hand, lent a shoulder and supported my heart...


for all of you...you have no idea how much i love you...for each and every thing that you have done, said, and the quiet moments in between...i look at my facebook group of friends and have a memory that makes me smile from every one...i may never actually win the lottery some day...but now i think...i already have.