i cannot believe how many ads and infomercials on tv are for diets, weight loss products, exercise videos, plans, etc....it's amazing...but it just kind of dawned on me...if there was only ONE way to lose weight and be healthy, then wouldn't the others fade off into the distance like the parachute pants and banana clip?  i guess what i'm saying is that i could design my own diet and exercise program, be successful at it, market it, and sell it to many people that are trying to find the "quick fix" like i have...obviously, there's more to this whole losing weight thing than just eating certain foods or combo of foods or doing these dance steps and not those gut busting ab moves...

again, for me, my gaining weight has been more about emotions and life than about the food itself...like for instance, this weekend was a difficult one with alex...he has moved back home and is planning on finishing school, which is great, but it's been difficult...every time we get into something, i feel the need to go back to my way of coping which is eating...and not doing that has been hard...i even had to leave the house and go for a ride the other night just so i wouldn't eat because i was angry over an argument we'd had...

this whole losing weight stuff is so much harder than expected...i appreciate those who say "just eat better and exercise and the weight will fall off"...REALLY?  i've done that, but i have yet to have half my ass fall off me while i'm walking those five miles down mainstreet...it's difficult to do this, but for some reason, i feel like this time it's the right time to do it...

wish me luck...