piece of cake

friday i picked up tess early from school to head up north to see alex and the rest of the family...i was excited as i'd actually been prepared this time!  i vacuumed and washed the car, both inside and out, ran all my errands, and even had everything packed and most loaded thursday night...i picked her up at 12:30 and that is when the fun began...


as she and i were walking out of the school, i heard this clicking sound...i looked down at my left shoe and noticed that part of the heel and fallen off...oh, well, the shoes lasted a year, which is really long for me seeing as how hard i am on shoes...we proceed to drive out of the parking lot when i have this full blown allergy/asthma attack...quickly did an assessment that i'd probably better get to a doctor as i didn't really want to pass out on the highway and have to rely on tess to drive the car...get to urgent care and they totally freaked out!!!  i kept reassuring them that it was NOT a heart attack, but an asthma attack and just needed to see someone...had to get in a wheelchair and be wheeled to the er...long story short, sat for three hours only to be told i have bad allergies...YA THINK?   anyway.....finally got on the road three hours later than intended.


about a half hour out of town, stella (our mini dach) starts to vomit profusely in her kennel...pull over, get everything cleaned up...and i was SO prepared!  i had disinfectant wipes and a bottle of water...all was well...decided she probably needed to ride up front as maybe she gets carsick...we tootled along until we were about five minutes outside of rice lake, when stella vomits all over tess!  luckily i was able to get somewhere quick and could get both of them cleaned up...although, the supply of wet wipes was now gone...after a quick dinner, clean clothes and a big hug, we were again on our way...


i put stella back into her kennel figuring she couldn't possibly do it again....yeah, right...got to seeley when the drama unfolded yet again...this time, i had no wipes, except for the two that we got at KFC in rice lake that were so thin, they immediately disintegrated upon opening the package...between that and some kleenex and the little bit of water that was left, we managed to somehow (and by we i mean me) get it cleaned up yet again...my feelings ran from disgust and frustration to feeling sorry for stella...all i wanted to do was get to my parents house, which normally takes 2 1/2 hours door to door, had now taken us five and we still had over an hour to go!


i prayed we wouldn't get stopped for leaving an abundance of used kleenex on the side of the road, but i had no garbage bags left and i was not about to transport dog vomit filled kleenex...sorry...my apologies to the environment...however, kleenex is biodegradable...


we stopped in hayward at a gas station so i could wash up and buy some more wet wipes...just in case...figured while i was there i should buy a lottery ticket, because, hell, what else could go wrong!  oh, yes, i forgot...while we were in the er, stella peed all over her pillow that she sleeps on in her kennel, so i had to use one of the two garbage bags to bag that up...anyway...


we FINALLY arrived at my parents house at 6:40 pm...


now, you'd think that the worst was behind us, but alas, not to be...saturday was pretty rocky...lots of trials and tribulations, although there was no dog vomit (thank god) involved...just quite a bit of yelling, hurt feelings, unkind words, and tears...

sunday finally came around and things were remarkably better...we had a family gathering, including my new three week old grandniece and it was wonderful...we celebrated my dad's and my birthday as well...lots of laughter and love....




as i was driving back on sunday afternoon, i had a lot of time to reflect and think...i realized that although my family is far from perfect, it is perfect for me...sure, i wish that we got along better some times, but when things get tough, we can pull together and be a very strong unit...we continue to argue and fight, but i think that's just the way we communicate as a family.  we don't have the sit down, feel good, everybody talk about their feelings in a healthy way, and then give a round of hugs...we do it by talking loudly, sometimes even yelling, and getting everything out in the open...yes, feelings get hurt, but there has never been a time when we haven't apologized to each other about that...we love fiercely and we love deeply...together we are strong and together we survive...

our family has changed in the past three weeks...my brother became a grandpa, my parents are now great-grandparents, and i am now a great aunt...it's also a big year...my dad turns 80 in a couple of weeks...that's so weird for me...i remember MY grandpa turning 80...and in a couple of weeks i turn 43...which isn't so weird because i never feel more than 25 anyway!


with baby kiera meeting the family for the first time this weekend, i remembered the first time i brought tess to meet the family ten years ago...my niece that just became a mom wasn't much older than tess is now...and it made me think back over the past ten years and really made me question what i've done these past ten years...what goals have i accomplished, what dreams have i fulfilled, what purpose do i serve...it has inspired me to make this year something worthwhile and to live with purpose...to live with feeling...to live with grace...and to live with love...


i never set resolutions for myself because...why...i break them too easily!  so i am setting the following goals instead...


every day i want to be able to answer the following questions:  did i live today honestly?  did i live today with a purpose?  did i live today fearlessly?  am i better today than i was yesterday? 

i figure if i can answer "yes" to these, then it was a day well spent...i don't want to get to the end of my life and wish i would have lived without fear, without regret, and with more love...i don't know how many more birthday cakes are in my future, so i am going to make sure that the next time i blow out the candles, i can close my eyes and say, "it's been a helluva great ride"...